"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters - yes, even their own life - such a person cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26 (NIV)
Is our Lord using hyperbole/exaggeration here to make a point? Does anyone really believe that our Lord wants us to live a life of hate towards those who are closest to us? Surely our Lord wants His disciples to be the mothers, wives, dads, husbands, children and siblings that bring God glory. Surely love, which is greater than both hope and faith, is to be the chief characteristic of how we interact with our families. So what truth is our Lord teaching us with this statement about hate?
The context would tell us that He is speaking to us about regular every day decisions, for the story about the banquet is all about people deciding not to attend, but instead putting regular life ahead of the kingdom. Our Lord has already given us an example of what He means. Gary Chapman has identified 5 love languages or ways that love is received by us: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch – and when you examine how the Lord treated His family as recorded in Luke 8, and put yourself in their shoes, you quickly realize that our Lord’s determination to continue with the mission communicated to His family that He didn’t love them. He had no time for them, He didn’t speak or touch them; He wouldn’t even listen to what they had to say. They would be thinking, and even saying to each other, “Well I guess we know where we stand with him.”
The truth that Jesus is teaching us is that regular life (especially family life) will come in conflict with the kingdom and we will have to make decisions between kingdom and family - which will come first? Unless we hate (chose kingdom over family) we aren’t His disciples. Do we consider ourselves disciples of Christ? When was the last time that we put kingdom ahead of family? Or do we use family as an excuse to not be involved in Christ’s mission? For years I have heard from church leaders that family is first - how about we listen to the Lord for at least 1 hour; family is important – but kingdom is #1 for a true disciple of Christ. If we truly want to bless our families, we will follow closely after our Lord.
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