Proverbs 31:10-31

"To the woman he said,...“Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Genesis 3:16 (NIV)
Proverbs 31:10-31

A husband and wife living together in unity can be summarized with this exhortation: “Grab each other's hand and go through it together!”

Adam and Eve were one flesh; they were united in thought and deed. Some friends of mine give Adam a hard time. They think Adam should have told his wife not to eat the fruit, and yet I see the account in Genesis 3 as proof of their unity. Adam didn’t rule over Eve, but he was beside her. She decided to eat, so he ate. He decided to hide so they both hid. The curse God spoke to the man and his wife, is carried out in every marriage that has ever been! The curse is a curse of DISUNITY, the wife wants to rule the relationship, but the man rules with an iron fist.

I don’t enjoy reading this curse but I love to read the account of the Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31. What strikes me when I read this passage is the confidence and trust that the husband has in his wife and that the wife has in her husband. Nowhere in this passage do you get a hint that the husband is ruling the wife, nor do you get a hint that the wife is trying to rule the husband. You get a sense that they are in unity together, blessing each other’s efforts and filling their own God given roles. And it is beautiful. Marriage as it can be through the power of the LORD!

Proverbs tells us twice that it is, “better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (21:9 & 25:24), yet in the chapter 31 passage, her husband has full confidence in her and praises her. I heard a preacher say that this passage is impossible! He pointed out that the passage starts with: A wife of noble character who can find? and told us that women need to recognize that this is an ideal description not reality. I think his motives were good; he doesn’t want ladies reading this passage and operating under guilt - but I find that approach discouraging. What I would ask is this: Men, have you found the wife of noble character? That is, have you recognized the wife that the LORD brought to you is the woman of Proverbs 31? Do you see her with the eyes of God? Will you give her your confidence and stop ruling over her? Will you praise her and say out loud in her hearing: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all"?

Let us be those who grab our spouse’s hand and go through whatever it is that is facing us - TOGETHER - with full confidence in each other!